damnant quod non intelligunt

I’m scared

My house is creaking as the wind blows , what if it all falls in on me?

Thank god for her!

My baby sister saved my life … hardly anyone knows it, its our secret but she’s the most brave, wise and caring 11 year old I know

…

I don’t care what you think of me because I don’t live for you … I don’t even live for me.

I know I don’t have one…

But everyone can suck my dick today! Idgaf

The missing piece by shel silverstein

Sometimes I feel like I’m the missing piece and that I’m searching for something greater to be a part of. every time I think I find it I fall out of it, like it wasn’t meant to be …shit… I keep finding people and things that I believe make me content but then corruption and/or this unsettling feeling ovewhelms the relationship and I can’t deal. Its like I’m trying so fucking hard to find true happiness or some shit that I can’t obtain it. I keep trying to fill all these gotdamned voids in myself, as if once I fix these flaws I will be at peace. I just want every thing to be. Peacefulness is all I want, some kind of order amongst these chaotic times. I feel as if one day I decide to end it all and follow through with it I just want it to end with me having a feeling of fullfillment. I want love without limitations so I won’t feel so caged in by the idea that this is it forever, because that shit overwhelms the fuck out of me. Maybe love is cursed by monogamy. Or maybe I can’t learn to love everything and trully be at peace with everything else until I am trully at peace and love myself.

That’s food for fucking thought.

And then it hit me,

I always get what I ask for, but maybe I should rephrase my questions. I didn’t want things to be like this.

My heart is not mine

The pieces that I give away they break Or it is lost, maybe nonexistant. So many think I’m the one. I’m not. I’m better off with just myself, no one seems to get that. I seem to lash out at the things closest to me. They return with the hopes that I will make it better, but I don’t. So I refuse, and they turn away taking that piece of my heart that I gave.

Awake…

If God does exist

Only He knows the sickness i’m dealing with and what I am going through. And being that He knows my heart and knows that these are trying times I should not be at fault for snatching the soul from someone’s body due to the immense amount of hate that I have for that person. I try to keep my composure but I can only take so much in my life and remain sane…